Dating

get ready to laugh your butt off.
when I said I couldn't make this stuff up I wasn't lying.

Just know? I'm pretty sure I have an invisible tattoo on my forehead which says
"If you're crazy date me"...
It's written in invisible crazy men ink. ;)



So, I didn't even think about dating until probably Spring 2012. I was busy just maintaining, but it's no secret that I've always dreamed of the white pickett fence, cape cod, family life.
I want a husband. I want a family. That's my picture of happiness and sometimes I wonder if I'm a little TOO determined. Anyways...


It dawned on me that I go to work, pick up G at daycare, and go home.
REPEAT.
My weekends off? I spend typically at the farmer's market, maybe church, outside if time allows, and just running errands...this means WHERE DO I MEET SOMEONE?

First date after becoming a single mom?
I went with "easy"
I went out for drinks with a guy that I used to date. Like 5 years or more ago.

Probably not my best idea, but we had fun, had things in common still, and enjoyed each other's company. NOTHING at all came of it. And I got irritated quick...I'm pretty sure I suck at the whole dating just to date thing. I don't multitask well and I'm an all-in kind of girl.

After that went no where I just kind of maintained for a while.
Just the routine of life, and then I got grumpy.
And joined match.com!


Let's just say online dating is the craziest, most aggravating thing in the world.
After weeding through the obvious crazies.
And e-mailing.

And getting over the fact that I'd eventually need to give these strangers my number...
I did it.
I went on my first REAL date!
I ordered filet mignon and he never asked me out again.
We got along fine and actually spoke on the phone several times before meeting, and seemed to hit it off...we texted afterwards but that was it.

Then I met another guy for coffee.

It was awful. He was cute. BUT not funny. And he thought he was.
Not to mention he still lived at home and was unemployed. To say that I'm not picky enough is probably an understatement. I like to give chances...and we'll learn that's also how I get walked all over! LOL


Then, I went to dinner.
And in hindsight, he talked wayyyy too much about his ex-gf. RED FLAG!!!
But we got along and he asked me out again.
And we went to a concert, where he proceeded to be a complete gentleman and I proceeded to make a FOOL of myself.
And he asked me out after that incident! So...sure.
We dated off an on including dinners at each other's houses for a couple of months. It worked for me because I didn't always have to have a sitter. But we hardly ever talked other than via text and while we ate dinner. No real phone calls. It should've told me something but honestly I was DATING to DATE. It was easy, somewhat enjoyable, and someone to eat dinner with that didn't throw half his plate on the floor or just want pb&j.
WIN WIN for this single mom!
Well that one ended abruptly one night after he picked me up from a late night flight and took me to my car. He basically dumped me for his all so popular ex girlfriend who happened to be back at his house...WHERE MY EFFIN CAR WAS!
Jerk.

So, after I picked myself up off the floor after his shenanigans I hit up POF.com after recommendations from a co-worker.
Again, weeded through all the crazies. Or so I thought.
Texted a few.
E-mailed a few.
Even skyped with one.
Then? A first date.
Which ended up being a double date with a couple friend of his.
IF YOU'RE A GUY? NEVER DO THIS! STUPID!
And I should've said no...but who wants to be that b****?!
I should've been. Dinner was fine, but I didn't learn much about the guy.
We texted constantly and he asked me out again, this time wanting to take me out for the day and just chill. We did dinner, a movie, lunch, long walk, ride in the car. Basically a perfect date for me. We listened to the same music, laughed at the same things, and he held my hand...all the time. The perfect gentleman.

I fell head over heels for this dude. We basically spent all of our free time together. He was huge in G's life and we just had the perfect little thing going.
Til he started acting dumb. And weird. AND I let it go.
And kept letting it go. Until I HAD ENOUGH.
At that point? I was pretty sure he was cheating on me, but all of my friends said there was no way...he was too stupid to cheat and actually pull it off.

WRONG.

Dude was cheating on me. Like a lot. Scary. And then he got mad at me when he found out I knew?! Say what?
Yeah, I told you I find the crazies.


Soooo. Since him? A whole lotta nothing.
And I'm getting to the point where I can't quite figure out what's wrong with me.

So every other week or so I throw a pity party for my single self where I remind myself that God has a beautiful plan for my life and I WILL meet Mr. Right. But I gotta be patient, and girls I AM SO NOT GOOD AT THAT!!!


So I've pretty much sworn of online dating. So that leaves me to the mercy of my friends and family and co-workers to hook me up. Or a random meeting...I'm pretty frustrated with that, but this too shall pass, right?


I'll promise to blog any more crazy dating shenanigans.
At least we know they will be entertaining!

SINGLE

single.
I'm sure someone will eventually ask this question. Or is wondering.
I always ask myself why people are single parents, because well...I'm curious.
I've been through some drama, it's always comforting to know I'm not the only one.


I'm going to attempt to make this short and sweet, but just know...it's not that simple!

So, last I left most of you over at Meet In the Middle, Greyson had just turned 1 and I was with my long time boyfriend/fiance, Greyson's dad. We had a house we were living in together and he traveled frequently with work so at the time I was staying home taking care of baby boy. I'm not sure what all I disclosed at the time...but the short version is his dad was using drugs and had been for quite sometime. BUT I HAD NO IDEA.

We went through some crazy times and I tried to help him...and he tried to help himself, but I believe addiction is truly an illness and he was sick.  After spending all of our money on outpatient drug rehab and attempting to bandage a relationship that was falling apart, it took one last episode of withdrawal/high/withdrawal shenanigans going on in my house and I WAS DONE. Things were terrible. And I wasn't going to let my child be around it any longer, it wasn't safe for either of us. So I told him to either quit or leave and he chose to leave.

This was September of 2011. Labor Day weekend to be exact.
He left, took all of his things, and that was that.
I had NO JOB. No money. (he spent every last dime of our joint account)
But we were finally free and I felt a huge weight be lifted...I had no idea what the future would bring for G and I but it had to be better.
I struggled with seeing my "family" fall apart, and what it would look like, why my child would have to grow up without a dad...all of the emotions.
But I knew we had an amazing support system of family and friends and we could do this.

He agreed to pay child support, we met in mediation and settled everything and in no time I heard he had been arrested and put into jail for grand larceny.

Things were crazy, I've still never received child support...but I DID get a job. My amazing saving grace came in the form of a nursing job that I never even thought of doing. And? I LOVE IT.

G was enrolled in daycare and just like that things were moving on. I racked up some credit card debt just trying to feed us and keep the car running, but we did it.

I cried a lot.
I screamed.
I yelled.



His dad has not seen him since October of 2011. I still can't believe it. Some days I wake up and I want to yell and scream at him. He's ridiculous. And my heart breaks because he's only hurting MY baby. I know I have the best gift in the world in this little boy and he loves his mama, but I can't give him what he deserves, a FAMILY with a mommy & daddy.
I have a hard time thinking about how he will grow up, he already asks questions, but I just have plans to be honest and try to answer things as age-appropriately as possible.
Maybe one day his dad will actually be a responsible adult and do what is right, but I'm not holding my breath. I just know that G is surrounded by plenty of people who love him, and he's smart as a whip, healthy, and he's doing great.

Since I became a single mom I've had so many people ask me how I do it. Or tell me that I'm so strong. Or ask me how I balance.

The truth is? I DON'T! I'm not this amazing woman. I'm just doing what I NEED to do.
In my mind? there's no choice in the matter. He's my baby and it's my responsibility to protect him, and I WILL do that!
I thank God each morning that I'm able to provide, that I'm able to get up, that I have the support system I do, and that my son is healthy. Everything is part of God's plan and this is our journey!

Welcome Y'all!

Welcome to Hot Mess {Single} Mama!



Hey y'all, I'm Amanda.  You may know me from my days over at "Meet In The Middle" where I blogged about my life as a new mom, who was blessed to have a miracle baby after battling PCOS and my adventures as a Stay At Home first time mom!
Or? You may not know me at all.
Or? You might follow me on instagram @mama2greyson...

Whatever the case may be, I'm going to try and give you a {brief} introduction.

So, I'm Amanda. A twenty-something now SINGLE mama to a 3 year old little man, G.
I'm also a Registered Nurse, who takes care of spinal cord injured veterans at a local hospital 5 days a week. I'm a new "runner" and started a fitness journey in December 2012 with my very best friend, L.  I'm a God-loving, crafty, sports enthusiast who is going through the motions and just trying her best to enjoy life!


Join me in my adventures as the hot mess mama.
I swear I couldn't make these shenanigans up if I tried, but boy do I get myself in some SITUATIONS!


If you have any questions, feel free to leave a comment!

Again, welcome! :)