single.
I'm sure someone will eventually ask this question. Or is wondering.
I always ask myself why people are single parents, because well...I'm curious.
I've been through some drama, it's always comforting to know I'm not the only one.
I'm going to attempt to make this short and sweet, but just know...it's not that simple!
I'm sure someone will eventually ask this question. Or is wondering.
I always ask myself why people are single parents, because well...I'm curious.
I've been through some drama, it's always comforting to know I'm not the only one.
I'm going to attempt to make this short and sweet, but just know...it's not that simple!
So, last I left most of you over at Meet In the Middle, Greyson had just turned 1 and I was with my long time boyfriend/fiance, Greyson's dad. We had a house we were living in together and he traveled frequently with work so at the time I was staying home taking care of baby boy. I'm not sure what all I disclosed at the time...but the short version is his dad was using drugs and had been for quite sometime. BUT I HAD NO IDEA.
We went through some crazy times and I tried to help him...and he tried to help himself, but I believe addiction is truly an illness and he was sick. After spending all of our money on outpatient drug rehab and attempting to bandage a relationship that was falling apart, it took one last episode of withdrawal/high/withdrawal shenanigans going on in my house and I WAS DONE. Things were terrible. And I wasn't going to let my child be around it any longer, it wasn't safe for either of us. So I told him to either quit or leave and he chose to leave.
This was September of 2011. Labor Day weekend to be exact.
He left, took all of his things, and that was that.
I had NO JOB. No money. (he spent every last dime of our joint account)
But we were finally free and I felt a huge weight be lifted...I had no idea what the future would bring for G and I but it had to be better.
I struggled with seeing my "family" fall apart, and what it would look like, why my child would have to grow up without a dad...all of the emotions.
But I knew we had an amazing support system of family and friends and we could do this.
He agreed to pay child support, we met in mediation and settled everything and in no time I heard he had been arrested and put into jail for grand larceny.
We went through some crazy times and I tried to help him...and he tried to help himself, but I believe addiction is truly an illness and he was sick. After spending all of our money on outpatient drug rehab and attempting to bandage a relationship that was falling apart, it took one last episode of withdrawal/high/withdrawal shenanigans going on in my house and I WAS DONE. Things were terrible. And I wasn't going to let my child be around it any longer, it wasn't safe for either of us. So I told him to either quit or leave and he chose to leave.
This was September of 2011. Labor Day weekend to be exact.
He left, took all of his things, and that was that.
I had NO JOB. No money. (he spent every last dime of our joint account)
But we were finally free and I felt a huge weight be lifted...I had no idea what the future would bring for G and I but it had to be better.
I struggled with seeing my "family" fall apart, and what it would look like, why my child would have to grow up without a dad...all of the emotions.
But I knew we had an amazing support system of family and friends and we could do this.
He agreed to pay child support, we met in mediation and settled everything and in no time I heard he had been arrested and put into jail for grand larceny.
Things were crazy, I've still never received child support...but I DID get a job. My amazing saving grace came in the form of a nursing job that I never even thought of doing. And? I LOVE IT.
G was enrolled in daycare and just like that things were moving on. I racked up some credit card debt just trying to feed us and keep the car running, but we did it.
I cried a lot.
I screamed.
I yelled.
His dad has not seen him since October of 2011. I still can't believe it. Some days I wake up and I want to yell and scream at him. He's ridiculous. And my heart breaks because he's only hurting MY baby. I know I have the best gift in the world in this little boy and he loves his mama, but I can't give him what he deserves, a FAMILY with a mommy & daddy.
I have a hard time thinking about how he will grow up, he already asks questions, but I just have plans to be honest and try to answer things as age-appropriately as possible.
Maybe one day his dad will actually be a responsible adult and do what is right, but I'm not holding my breath. I just know that G is surrounded by plenty of people who love him, and he's smart as a whip, healthy, and he's doing great.
G was enrolled in daycare and just like that things were moving on. I racked up some credit card debt just trying to feed us and keep the car running, but we did it.
I cried a lot.
I screamed.
I yelled.
His dad has not seen him since October of 2011. I still can't believe it. Some days I wake up and I want to yell and scream at him. He's ridiculous. And my heart breaks because he's only hurting MY baby. I know I have the best gift in the world in this little boy and he loves his mama, but I can't give him what he deserves, a FAMILY with a mommy & daddy.
I have a hard time thinking about how he will grow up, he already asks questions, but I just have plans to be honest and try to answer things as age-appropriately as possible.
Maybe one day his dad will actually be a responsible adult and do what is right, but I'm not holding my breath. I just know that G is surrounded by plenty of people who love him, and he's smart as a whip, healthy, and he's doing great.
Since I became a single mom I've had so many people ask me how I do it. Or tell me that I'm so strong. Or ask me how I balance.
The truth is? I DON'T! I'm not this amazing woman. I'm just doing what I NEED to do.
In my mind? there's no choice in the matter. He's my baby and it's my responsibility to protect him, and I WILL do that!
I thank God each morning that I'm able to provide, that I'm able to get up, that I have the support system I do, and that my son is healthy. Everything is part of God's plan and this is our journey!
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