This post kind of needs a bit of an introduction...
About a year ago, my best friend, sister from another mother, PEA, running partner, and sidekick invited me to the church they'd been attending. I hemmed and hawed about going, as I'd grown up in the same church for most of my 26 years and let's face it, I SUCK at change.
After a bit more prying, I attended a few times. Greyson did well in the child care, and the message was always great. The pastor lived up to my high expectations, and after growing up hearing your Grandfather preach for 13 years straight every Sunday...that's a hard act to follow.
Well done, Pastor Hancock!
Needless to say, I didn't attend regularly. And I didn't make it a priority either.
See...I was very active in church for most of my life, but once college and early adulthood hit, there wasn't really a "space" for me at MY church. Either I was too old for the high schoolers, or I was too young for the "adults". Or I had a kid, or didn't have a kid, or I was unmarried...whatever the case may be. Finding your "place" in church during your early 20s requires effort, and I didn't even give it a chance.
Later into the fall I started attending with Laura more regularly and Greyson actually ASKED to attend church. After my Grandma died, I particularly became more interested in attending church. She's the whole reason I ever even went to church in the first place as a child
And reading her bible. WOW. That woman. She knew her stuff, and she studied the word, and she had a relationship with God. I started doing daily devotionals hit or miss, including SheReadsTruth.
Unfortunately I work every other weekend, so at best...I was attending church every other week.
As the days went by I started talking to the guy I was dating more and more, and he attended church regularly which completely blew me away. At that point it dawned on me that we had a Saturday evening service in addition to 2 Sunday morning services.
In late October/early November I attended a Saturday night service, and although it was quite empty I enjoyed it. A more intimate worship experience, but still a wonderful message delivered, and great music! I was thoroughly impressed.
My devotions became a bit more regular and I became more interested in learning.
I remember one conversation with Josh in particular I even confused Daniel and David while we were discussing some scripture. HELLO wake-up call.
I may have attended church regularly.
I may have prayed often.
I may have read my Bible.
I may have been active in church and youth group growing up.
BUT I DON'T KNOW MUCH.
So part of my New Years Resolution is to complete a daily devotional, read a few books I've been looking into, and just develop a closer relationship with God and strengthen my trust in him.
Tonight I attended Saturday night service.
And it's probably been the most influential and moving sermon I've heard since I started attending. But I definitely heard it LOUD & CLEAR.
We discussed being intentional, purposeful, and having goals.
Keeping our eyes forward and not letting the past affect our current path and plan.
Pastor Hancock shared a story about when he was my age, and it hit home.
I need to focus. Be intentional. Be purposeful.
Stop focusing on what I DON'T have. And be great at what I am. What I have to offer.
Yes, I'm single. It's not time to be a wife in His plans.
So I need to be a GREAT mom. Which is something I always strive for and dreamed of being.
I need to be a GREAT nurse. Focus while I'm at work, and continue to better myself in my practice.
I need to be a GREAT friend, daughter, sister. And a GREAT witness.
These are all opportunities I have right now, and I need to seize them.
No more waiting around, It's time for change.
I had to write this. I needed to remember this feeling, this fire ignited in me. And the desire to let go of the past. LET GO. LOOK FORWARD. Stop some things and start others, in order to change.
ALL we have is our time when you truly look at it. In 2014 I'm planning to use mine more wisely.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:13
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